There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
