haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize