i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
