if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I cannot find my penis.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
