god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
