Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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