wakey wakey hands off snakey
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
