Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize