girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
