I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
