Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
