I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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