Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
