Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
