So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
