i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
