I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
