So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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