you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
