Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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