How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
