You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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