u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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