He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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