At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
