Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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