I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
