how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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