Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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