she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
