the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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