...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
