I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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