my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize