I love black thongs
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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