You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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