When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
