His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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