He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
