Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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