Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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