You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
