Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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