Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
