Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
