I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
