goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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