I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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