She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
