I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
