would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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