I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
