I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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