No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
