I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
