WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You need Xanax blowdarts
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
