i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
