Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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